Back to Life and Report 12

I've had enough. I told myself I was just focusing on my real life for a short while. You know, summer program applications, colleges, my school club, several piano competitions, and the easiest of them all, homework...in the meantime, I'd be working on plot, developing characters. I'd be productive. It would be nice.

But that didn't happen. In the end I was just floundering around, writing a long essay about death that I never finished, stressing out about everything in general, and procrastinating.

I've had enough.

So, back to this daily rhythm of squeezing words out of me like old toothpaste somebody forgot to put the lid on and is now dry and mulish. Hopefully the toothpaste will turn out to not be toothpaste at all, but more like that awesome special kind of eraser I had for art class, the kind that only gets softer the more you kneed it. Writing every day is vaguely addicting, I've found. Like a habit of checking your mail every day, except there's always ten packages of emo children and one package of candy with each transaction. And hopefully I'll stop with these extensive allegories before you get bored.
Not...that there's anyone reading this to feel bored in the first place.

Anyways. In these last few days the word count has actually dropped, since I've cut stuff out. That is, besides the 1200+ words of character profiling. And one page-length cartoon-doodle of Jude's death that I actually really like. (Apparently I'm good at drawing corpses' faces. What.) And 11,000+ words of plot outlining that I've compiled since last year. And 50,000+ words from NaNoWriMo that suck ass so I can't reasonably look at them again.
So much...work for one crappy novel. Ashfire, you're bleeding me dry, I swear. Your Sun Road had better be good.

Changing it back to the 50,000 words goal because I'm writing a short story for each main character and am hoping to add them in the print somewhere. Or maybe I'm just being lazy. Bahhh.

Total words: 5,086. Words left: 44,914. Days left: 47.
Words per day to finish on time: 956.